Dad, i’ve come to realize that you were an amazing man, but i can’t model my self after you no longer.
you left this family, not cause you felt like it, cause your body knew it was time, but even then it doesn’t excuse the pain you caused.
A son without a father, a daughter with a broken mother.
but you know what. we beat that. we are better off with out you
cause who knows how you would have treated me, my mother and my sister.
i wouldn’t be half the man i was today if it wasn’t for what happend.
I know this is sounds mean and hurtful but its the best way i could put it to words
It sits on my shoulder, it creeps in my sleep, but what sleep? I avoid closing my eyes to withdraw these demons that hide in my mind can’t take much more.
It was a split splice that brought it back again. But I don’t fight I accept. I finally let it take me over. I’m not who I was or who I should be, but instead I’m walking distress. Why fight when we mean nothing.
I’ve watched my lights flicker out, just like my stability.
kik me: Sunkennickk
im super bored. hit me up!
I just don’t add up. My life is a joke.
I quit. Welcome fucking back depression.
Every night awake,
every night spent with you,
every word you take out of my mouth before I can even speak,
why do I leak love like a sappy dope.
With this last drop of confidence,
Ill spill my guts about how you are all I want
With all this taunting it’s hard to believe
That you won’t leave.
And if i could tell you that everything would be okay, would you hold it against me when it all falls to the ground, and would you blame me for trying to keep your head high when i can only do so much for everyone else, when i cant even keep a smile on my own face.
Don’t forget me when i say, that everything i said is just another hoax to keep you afloat, i can’t keep this up all night.
I won’t let you drown, ill keep your head up high, forgetting everything from the past, just looking forward past this mess.
This is not an apology, this is not a second chance, this is everything i have left in me.
Why can’t I stop staring?
I need to stop, these sparks are too much.
I’m gonna shut up now before I over work my self
i’ve put every bad regret of my past 4 years in the last exit of 294, and i wish that everyday could be as easy as this, but i know it’s just a falsified hope.
The long drive is the only thing keeping me sane. each exit reminds me of you and all my problems that i have left behind these cold city lines. and i hope that each time a memory fades i can finally be free of the these forsaken chains that keep me bound to you. i hope that you truly see how much you effected me.
the road down 34 is just another excuse to why i can’t be with you, it seems that each mile kills me more and more each time. a piece of me died when you left me and i can never have that back. i wish it would come back to me, these past 9 months have been torture, long nights longing for your voice or even a glimpse of you.
It may kill me inside, but you truly mean the world to me.
With that pill you need so bad, makes you miss a family you’ll never have.
That addiction covers your mind with a diction for more and more.
It dug that stupid fucking grave, never gave a sense of closure.
What kind of exposure did you really expect? Nothing less than
a wrecked home, a lonely son and empty family.
Oxy was the drug that made you lack moxie.
And i hope they day i finally see you,
Your mind is finally clear and clean.